The best way to protect your kids online? Talk to them. Research suggests that when children want important information, most rely on their parents.
Not sure where to begin?Consider the following: Start early.After all, even toddlers see their parents use all kinds of devices. As soon as your child is using a computer, a cell phone or any mobile device, it’s time to talk to them about online behavior, safety, and security. As a parent, you have the opportunity to talk to your kid about what’s important before anyone else does.
Create an Honest, Open Environment.
Kids look to their parents to help guide them.
Be supportive and positive. Listening and
taking their feelings into account helps keep
conversation afloat. You may not have all the
answers, and being honest about that can
go a long way.
Initiate Conversations.
Even if your kids are comfortable approaching you, don’t wait for them to start the conversation. Use everyday opportunities to talk to your kids about being online. For instance, a TV program featuring a teen online or using a cell phone can
tee up a discussion about what to do—or not—in similar circumstances. News stories about internet scams or cyberbullying, for example, also can help start a conversation with kids about their experiences and your expectations.
Communicate Your Values.
Be upfront about your values and how they apply in an online context. Communicating your values clearly can help your kids make smarter
and more thoughtful decisions when they face tricky situations. Be patient. Resist the urge to rush through conversations with your kids. Most kids need to hear information repeated, in small doses, for it to sink in. If you keep talking with your kids, your patience and persistence will pay off in the long run. Work hard to keep the lines of communication open, even if you learn your kid
has done something online you find inappropriate.
Young Kids
When very young children start using a computer, they should be supervised closely by a parent or caregiver. Parents may wish to choose the websites their kids visit early on—and not let them leave those sites on their own. If little kids aren’t supervised online, they may stumble onto sites that could scare or confuse them. When you’re comfortable that your young children are ready to explore on their own, it’s still important to stay in close touch while they go from site to site. You may want to restrict access to sites that you have visited and know to be
appropriate—at least in terms of their educational or entertainment value.
Tweens
During the tween years—ages 8 to 12—children start exploring more on their own, but that doesn’t mean you don’t want—or need—to be close at hand. It’s important to be with them—or at least nearby—when they’re online. For this age group, consider keeping the computer in an area where the child has access to you or another adult. That way, they can be “independent,” but not alone.
For younger tweens, parental controls - including filtering or monitoring tools - can be effective. However, many middle school kids have the technical know-how to find a way to get around them. If children aren’t already using the internet for their schoolwork, this is when they’re likely to start. It’s also when they can discover
resources for hobbies and other interests. Many tweens are adept at finding information online. That’s often helpful to the rest of the family, but they still need adult guidance to help them understand which sources are trustworthy.
As you consider what your tweens see and do on the internet, think about how much time they spend online. Consider setting limits on how often they can be online and how long those sessions should be.
Teens
Young tweens are likely to reflect the values of their parents. By the time they age into their teen years, they’re forming their own values and beginning to take on the values of their peers. At the same time, older teens are maturing physically, emotionally, and intellectually, and many are eager to experience more independence from their parents. Teens have more internet access through cell
phones, mobile devices, or friends’ computers, as well as more time to themselves. So it isn’t realistic to try to always be in the same room as your teens when they’re online. They need to know that you and other family members can walk in
and out of the room any time, and can ask them about what they’re doing online.
It’s important to emphasize the concept of credibility to teens. Even the most tech-savvy kids need to understand that not everything they see on the internet is true, that people on the internet may not be who they appear to be, that information or images they share can be seen far and wide, and that once something is posted
online, it’s close to impossible to “take it back.”
Because they don’t see facial expressions, body language, and other visual cues we rely on offline, teens may feel free to do or say things online that they wouldn’t otherwise. Remind them that behind the screen names, profiles, and avatars
are real people with real feelings. When you talk to your teen, set reasonable
expectations. Anticipate how you will react if you find out that he has done something online you don’t approve of. If your teen confides in you about something scary or inappropriate they’ve encountered online, try to work together
to prevent it from happening again. Since your teen is closing in on being an adult, she needs to learn how to behave and how to exercise judgment about using the net safely, securely, and in accordance with your family ethic.
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